I give up. I’m at a loss. It’s my lawn. I got with the program during the dry January and didn’t water it. After all, water is at a premium with our paltry rainfall totals. I could wear my brown lawn like a badge of honor. This guy gets it, people walking by would say.
But since then, we’ve had some rain and just enough to keep it alive, yet now in a weird sort of half-dead state. It’s not brown, but it’s not green either and the clover that filled in the dead spots is now dying in the heat.
So now I’m left with a bastardized half-dead lawn monster that needs some water. But dare I water it? And even if I did, is it beyond repair? At what point am I just watering weeds and dirt?
I can’t take the plunge and reseed it because that would take up way too much water. I could collect our gray water but that seems like a project that may start but get nowhere near completion. It would be much better if we didn’t get any rain at all and it would just die. But that would mean we wouldn’t be getting any rain and that’s not good for the drought.
I could buy sod, but that’s expensive and kind of defeats the purpose since you have to water it.
I could transplant the amazingly strong grass that grows wild in my backyard but I have a feeling it would also promptly half die.
I could plant native grass but that stuff always looks super cool at first then gets weird when it starts to grow and die off. Trimming it always tends to ruin it too. Or maybe native plants like shrubs and junipers, but that takes some design sense and seems like a lot of work to do it right.
There is always green paint, which would likely kill the grass and I suspect is not good for the environment. Or turf, not fake turf mind you, but turf, which is fake grass. I’m not sure of the cost, but it’s probably expensive. So that may be off the table.
And I won’t do the lava rocks or white granite. Just not my style and besides, the neighborhood dogs wouldn’t like it. Hurts their feet. There is always the idea of a some sort of desert landscape with cacti and other southwest style decor like, I don’t know, slats of rusted metal? But I’m just not into it.
Some have suggested planting a garden since I have one in the backyard, but that will take water too. Maybe tomatoes would work since they don’t need as much water as say, lettuce or squash, but mine is not the neighborhood for such a front yard garden. I would only end up watching my produce walk down the street.
There is always the path of least resistance, which is to just let it be. Eventually it will turn brown and I will have my badge of honor and I won’t have to do a darn thing.
Jon Mays is the editor in chief of the Daily Journal. He can be reached at email@example.com. Follow Jon on Twitter @jonmays.