Whether you are a Type A or a Type B, there’s a scent for you. Even better if you’re type AB or even O.
A relatively new scent lets one choose the appropriate perfume based on blood type. The Blood Concept line — tagline, Let it Flow! — is the brain child of an Italian perfume house that offers four dropper bottle options based on the four types. You’d think these scents would carry cool vampire-centric names like Eau de Nosferatu but sadly the labels are boringly straightforward and give no hint of the olfactory present contained within.
Perfume O is, and I quote, “a leather fragrance” with thyme and raspberry. Um, OK.
Perfumes A, B and AB are unisex scents ranging from “aromatic” A, “woody, spicy” B and less appealing sounding “mineral” AB. All include metallic notes just to give it that whiff of blood authenticity and allegedly trace the blood types through their evolution from the oldest, O, to the newest, AB. Because isn’t that what we’re all looking for at the nape of the neck or the inside of the wrist — evolution and bodily fluids?
Not to be outdone, another company called Blood Lust also offers blood-inspired scents for those who like to drink in unique aromas. When one runs dry, pour one brand into the other. Consider it a transfusion. Or just continue to consider it weird. Sorry to be so negative.
The scents may be just the finishing touch to this year’s spooky Halloween ensemble or perhaps a unique stocking stuffer for your favorite phlebotomist.
But really, odd though the blood scent notion may seem, it is merely a drop in the bucket of strange bottled fragrances vying for attention.
Bacon and Burger King scents spring to mind and the infamous started-as-a-joke-but-is-now-a-real-thing Pizza Hut scent is old hat by now. However, what about a perfume that lets the wearer smell like old books? Paper Passion is meant to recall cracking the spine on an old favorite and sticking your nose in its weathered pages. Maybe in this PDF and e-reader era the smell of real paper pages is actually exotic and alluring. Or maybe it just speaks to those with a hot librarian fantasy. Don’t worry, that’s next — a bottle of Dewey Decimal.
For those who can’t afford the $98 price tag, just rub a new car air freshener behind the ears. It’s sort of the same thing, at least in terms of resembling an inanimate object.
On the other hand, those who prefer to wear rather than imbibe their vices, try either the Merlot, Sauvignon Blanc, Riesling, Cabernet and Chardonnay fragrances. Remember to remain calm when the friendly law enforcement officer asks just how many spritzes you’ve had that night.
Not every person, though, likes to wear a mass-marketed scent, even if that fragrance is something as kooky as these. For them, they should try splashing on a number of different wine smells. A little Merlot, a little Cab. Voila! A new perfume — Meritage.
Or, for something even more unexpected, layer seemingly disparate smells. Dab a little Sauvignon Blanc or Chardonnay on top of the Perfume O or Perfume B. Add some more wine fragrance. Then some more. In fact, keep going until the bouquet of blood is completely overwhelmed.
Take a deep breath to enjoy the scent DUI.
Michelle Durand’s column “Off the Beat” runs every Tuesday and Thursday. She can be reached by email: firstname.lastname@example.org or by phone (650) 344-5200 ext. 102. What do you think of this column? Send a letter to the editor: email@example.com.