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Photo courtesy of the San Mateo County History Museum
Christmas with Charity and Alvinza in their later years.
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What if the county’s first serial killer was Charity Hayward, wife of the wealthy Alvinza Hayward of San Mateo? This was a question posed by a friend recently. Where did that idea come from? Back in the 1880s, everyone felt sorry for poor Mrs. Hayward. She had lost seven of her eight children and seemed to have a troubled marriage, despite all of their riches.
Charity, born to Silas and Catherine Hathaway in 1826, was the 11th of 13 children. The family was poor enough that the daughters sought domestic employment in the homes of others in the town of Lake Mills, Wis. Charity met and married Alvinza Hayward. Their first child was born there in 1846.
They came west in 1851, and Alvinza worked in San Francisco. Then they went to Amador County where Alvinza would try gold mining.
During the hard times, Charity took in laundry to make ends meet. She took pains to hide this from Alvinza, as he was a proud man. Eventually he was successful, and made a huge fortune in mining stock and other capitalist ventures.
Meanwhile, Charity had given birth to their son James in Wisconsin. Nellie was born in California in 1853. The next year, the family grew when Kate was born. In 1860, when the family lived at Sutter Creek, Kate died of Croup in February. Little Sammy was born in March, but only lived about four months. Nellie died, also of Croup, less than a month after Sammy.
Emma was born the following year. Mary was born in 1869, but she died of pneumonia after barely a year, the same year that Carrie was born. Alice was born in 1872. The following year was tragic, for in April, little Alice died of bronchitis and Carrie died in June. James, their adult son died of consumption in September of the same year. In 1878 the Haywards divorced, an unusual thing in those days. They remarried that same year, but they rarely were together for the rest of their lives.
Alvinza had moved the family to San Mateo in the 1860s, and in 1880 he built his mansion, Hayward Park. He was considered forbidding and aloof by his neighbors, although he was active in the community. He always wore formal black and drove a black carriage with black horses.
Their firstborn, James, survived until the age of 27. Only one daughter, Emma, lived out her life. It is odd that the children proved to be so frail, for Alvinza lived to be nearly 82 and Charity lived to be 79. Most of the children’s deaths appear to have been from respiratory ailments.
Modern day psychiatrists have identified a mental disorder they call Munchausen’s Syndrome by Proxy.
A caregiver, usually a mother, causes illness in another person, usually her child, to gain sympathy. The mother appears devoted and the attention makes her feel important. In extreme cases, the children can die. A mother may abuse more than one child. It often occurs when the children are under 6 years old, but they may be older. Common characteristics are a distant husband and a lack of self esteem.
No one suggested anything improper 140 years ago and there certainly is no evidence at this late date to indicate anything was wrong. But it is an interesting thought to ponder. The mental condition may not have been recognized until the 20th century, but that is not to say it hasn’t existed always.
Rediscovering the Peninsula appears in the Monday edition of the Daily Journal. For more information on this or related topics, visit the San Mateo County History Museum, 750 Middlefield Road, Redwood City. |